Self-care has become highly commercialized and often revolves around taking care of our exterior bodies. But we forget to take care of our mental self and inner being, which is often left to a world of judgement based on the acceptable feelings and reactions that historical sexual roles as male and female, husband and wife, father and mother... (the list continues) play. We are not just our exterior selves. We are also inner beings that require coping mechanisms and ways of dealing with our thoughts. Some suggest that we let thoughts go, I agree with that... Don't get lost in the floodgates of your thoughts. Let them calm, get distracted, take a drive, hop in the shower, wash the dishes, but whatever you do... do not keep harping on the thoughts that make you uneasy and upset, A solution will become clear as your thoughts become clear and then a change can be made.
One of the ways to practice self-care through mindfulness is to not engage in self-judgment. If you cannot get those thoughts to calm down that is fine, accept it, engage in other activities and stop judging yourself. Recognize the judgement as a judgement and let it float past you as you meditate, stretch and engage in kind-care that makes you physically feel better. Emotions that come from thoughts of doing something wrong can overwhelm the ability to let go. We can be our harshest critiques because we think we know all of the intimate details and our mind relives them, each time grander and with more details. Don't engage in that type of story telling. If your story becomes negative then end it. Let those positive feelings embrace your body.
It is OK to Play
Embrace playfulness. We can laugh at ourselves. We can stop being so serious, allow ourselves to be curious and vulnerable. When we play with one another instead of "network" we can see the opportunity that we offer one another clearer because we are having fun. When we are busy thinking of business, money, having to make a sale, we hold back our ability to be authentic and playful. Business can be playful, you can be playful, joke, have fun, don't worry so much about being socially acceptable to be successful. When we allow more joy in our lives that is what we project and it allows space for great friendships and partnerships based on friendship.
Be Open to Others
Don't give unsolicited advice and don't let people give it to you. We all have issues in our lives that we are reliving and judging. One of the ways to stop judging yourself is to stop others from judging you. Often we tell stories looking for empathy and we get advice. People struggle just keeping space open and listening. When we engage in REAL TALK it isn't about telling people what to do, rather it is to keep space open. It is to keep space open for ourselves and our own stories but also to keep space open for the stories of others that we hear. We empathize. From that empathy thoughts calm, we accept, judgement is lost, playfulness is welcomed, clarity is increased and the ability to take action on opportunity improves.
Time Doesn't Stop... Why Waste it Cycling the Past When Your Future is Full of Greatness!
Change can only happen with self-care that also respects our time. The time of the people that keep space open for us and our own time. To best respect time we cannot cycle, we say it once, make a declaration and move on with purpose. When we cycle the purpose of the story is lost, time is wasted, judgement increases and unsolicited advice, instead of opportunity found in open space and empathy take over. We can accept our story and embrace our greatness, time is on our side and is moving fast... so can you. No stereo types, no judgement, yes to self-care, yes to play, yes to empathy, yes to change based on ordinary greatness.
After participating in some mindful self-care what declaration are you making based on your intentions and opportunity?
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Shirley Ann Felder
As a mother, mentor, landlord, business owner, recycling fanatic who owned a garbage company that did over 60 million in sales, an international motivational speaker, and certified life coach with The Healthy Wealthy and Wise Organization, Shirley mastered the art of modern multitasking and diversification while helping people realize the Greatness in Ordinary! “You will never fail you, as long as you’re real.” As Shirley provides her audience with a candid perspective, blunt honesty and a dose of reality, whether talking about maximizing the potential of raw materials or nurturing the ordinary, she knows the benefits of authenticity when faced with adversity!